4.4 innergy reset.
aries season is the indigenous new year, with the start of spring equinox season starting off the season.this is why in astrology, Aries is the first sign + represents the one, the individual, the self.
the theme for this month is :: Responsibility
responsibility means you do the things you are supposed to do and accept the results of your actions.
a responsibility : something you are expected to do.
being responsible : doing the things you are supposed to do.
accepting responsibility : taking the praise or the blame for something you have done.
- what are your responsibilities to your dreams ?
answering the call ...
responsibility = response and being responsive
showing up in authentic way
highest of capabilities + capacity
being your first healer, cheerleader, parent, and friend
the way that you start is the way that is flows.
Our wounds can exist and still lead us to a place of wholeness, love, connection, and beauty.

Raise up to the standard.
Encourage them to challenge you,
Let the discomfort inspire reinvention.
what discomfort is currently occurring internally or externally, that you can allow yourself room to reinvent a way you think, move, or respond ?
what beliefs cause us to shrink back into less of the person we can be ?
where is god placing me ?
god is separating me from bare minimum + from things that are lack luster, space fillers, of no importance, hold no value to me. I don't think I am in a serious dating season right now. I find myself exhausted at the idea of entertaining another adult for more than a brief moment of time. I also find myself wanting to know what's what pretty quickly in dynamics, esp with men. like cut to the chase, you want to travel the world, have babies, get rich, + worship our
Afrikan lineage or nah ? this is a bit dramatic, verbiage wise, but truly accurate energetically. All my patience has seem to have left with my last boyfriend. I poured so much into that dynamic, so many prayers, so much patience, so much vulnerability into it...all for it to crumble into ashes. & so quickly.
I feel like I woke up one day and realized I was pouring into a vase that was playing dress up. It was never a vase, only a cup. Feels like I was going for the real & he was going for instagram aesthetics. He wanted the look and I wanted the soul. When I looked and realized he was a hologram, it scared me. I think me seeing him too, scared him. I have no idea where his soul was, went. I've seen this man full of joy bellowing love songs from his gut, to sad + distraught with his head down unsure of himself, to gone far away not an ounce of soul in his eyes, no warmth in his voice. just hollow tips.
writing these truth make my stomach turn. I ask myself why + its cause I hate this for him. you ever want so much more for a person than they are willing to commit to? its absolutely soul wrenching. there's so many things I'd change around him if I had my way + with this mentality is when I first realized I was starting to mother the man. this is a pattern in my spirit I am teaching myself out of and away from. people are grown individuals, very capable of doing exactly what they want and desire. I found myself becoming irritated by what was going on around him + the choices he was making and wanting to forcefully stop things and change it all. I believe when you're dating someone, that person has to believe and know in their partner. the moment that leaves, they should too. my irritation had grown so strong, I started to brush him off... that was the sign for me my trust in him had faded + I no longer believed in him...so I departed.
we both held onto each other as long as we possibly could, I believe we genuinely cared for one another but neither one of us was fully EQUIPPED for each other. this mismatch is pure chemistry + physics not allowing to people to successfully navigate earth side by side because we don't have a energetic bond that binds long term. its combustable after so many moments. he wants to swim west, I am called north. we play the game different for sure. meeting him taught me to think outside of my natural principle of thought and ways. I am better for leaving him. I am learning myself more and learning to handle every shade of myself. I most hated leaving him cause my hope with us were so high. I most hated leaving him cause I wanted to show him, our love will live a lifetime. I most hated leaving him cause I believed I could see him through becoming a better version of himself, but he wasn't reaching for his goals , his desires, his improvement NOTHING ! over time, that infuriated me especially because he spoke of how he was. but I realized change isn't that easy for him.
I change frequently, metamorphosis. I may even live in the in between realms naturally. born alchemist. energetic catalyst. his power lay somewhere between his ears. however I am not sure if he was taught to listen deep enough + to do it frequently. but shxt, I wasn't "taught either" I woke up and went looking for it. I needed my healing and teaching. parts of me were getting lost, no where to be found + I needed my mojo back. so I asked, and I received. now I am forever in debt to my ancestors. I owe them for their ability to give me back purpose + focus. I was lifeless. now I am back + I say all of this because the yearning for spiritual guidance and healing had to come from with in me. its not what I want for another, it is what they desire for themselves.
Commentaires